When it comes to a person’s ability to deal with stressful situations or personal crises emotional resilience is key to adapting to the problems that arise and managing them in a healthy way.
It has been shown that people with a higher degree and understanding of emotional resilience will be able to cope with the stresses that come with their daily life in a much more effective and calmer way and navigate their way through their crises more easily.
The good news is that emotional resilience is a skill that can be learned and developed into a valuable coping tool. It can become an essential trait that you can benefit from for many reasons, most importantly for the fact that it can transform your life and your experience in coping with many types of personal stress that come into your daily life.
Emotional resilience is, to some extent, something you are actually born with. The beginning years of your life are invaluable. Your brain is still very much developing so everything that happens to you – relationship with parents, brothers and sisters, school, life events – all of these memories (unless made sense of at the time) form a blueprint for the rest of your life.
They create your core beliefs and shape how you view yourself, the world around you and how you fit into that world. Some will be positive but the more dangerous ones are the beliefs that are negative.
How negative beliefs can effect your emotional resilience
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Unfortunately, It’s these negative beliefs that will shout louder and stronger during times when we’re not in a good place. These types of feeling and thought responses are what causes our emotional resilience to wain and make it difficult to “overcome life’s set-backs.”
Self worth, guilt, shame, I’m not good enough, I must not be heard, I’m stupid, I’m not confident…This negative chatter can ‘speak’ so loudly in our minds that we begin to believe them as truths. Actual facts that mean we will forever be that way.
If your brain can’t make sense of a memory at the time it will live on in your subconscious. For example – say you fell off your bike when you were little and at the time your mum scooped you up and said ‘your fine, your fine’. If at the time you actually thought you were going to die, this could live on as a fear of cycling or worse, a fear of death. Your brain wasn’t given the opportunity to process the strong fear you felt at the time.
This is why meditation and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) are such powerful tools for children in developing a positive and healthy emotional resilience. They help their minds make sense of their emotions when they’re brains and vocabulary are still very much developing
For adults EFT enables your brain to get to the core route of a problem and allows you to take the emotional and negative charge away from past events that have had a negative impact on your mind and behaviour. Anxiety, grief, depression, bulimia, OCD, anorexia, addictions – you weren’t born with these and they don’t define who you are at your core.
Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to think differently
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The good news is your brain is hard wired not soft wired so you can change your neural pathways to think differently. In the same way you work out to improve you physical fitness, you need to train your mind to improve your mental fitness and emotional resilience enabling you to process your emotions before they become overwhelming.
According to The Energy Therapy Center, “In the short time since it’s inception by Gary Craig in the 1990’s, EFT has provided thousands of people with relief from all manner of problems and conditions, often in startlingly quick time and after long and painful periods of searching for a cure. The diversity of successful treatments have ranged from trauma and abuse, phobias, self sabotaging behaviour patterns, to deep set emotional conditions of anxiety and depression, addictions, physical illness, to name but a few.”
We can’t predict what life might throw at us but we can regulate how we react and grow from each situation. You control your emotions and you control your happiness.
Emotional resilience and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can help you with your journey along that path.
Happy Heads – Bespoke emotional resilience programmes built around you
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Therapist Kim Murray is a qualified Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practioner who runs ‘Happy Heads’, a London based mindfulness service offering bespoke programmes for adults, children and families.
She teaches simple, practical and effective tools to help both adults, children, parents and the family unit.
Kim’s philosophy is “Teaching simple mindful tools help empower the next generation and their families to live a happier, calmer & stress-free life.”
She says about her methods, “In the same way that fitness boosts our physical self, meditation and mindful exercises help us to look after our mental well-being. Research shows that meditation engages our brain’s Prefrontal Cortex, known to drive emotional decision making and self-regulation.”
“Taking the time to stop, think and breathe unlocks new found skills that can be used everyday to calm and ground us during the tricky moments life throws at you.”
Each course is as unique as the individual. One to one sessions are advised to begin, but Happy Heads works well with groups.